Scent Notes: A warm vanilla mixed lusciously with hinoki wood, nutmeg and saffron, electrifying yuzu, and a surprising kick of wasabi

Dearest Camila,

I am writing to congratulate you on your latest success as ‘Fan Favorite’ at the 75th annual wedding cake bake off competition. The weather was most fine, was it not? It was especially fortunate that the day was warm, given that you accidentally set your assistant’s apron and trousers aflame and he was obliged to finish the event wearing nothing but those tie dye hot pants. My goodness but that lovely young man can undress quickly! Perhaps the two of you have been practicing? In case of fire, of course. I’m glad he’s not injured.

I commend you on your bold use of flavors. The vanilla yuzu sponge paired so beautifully with the black pepper and saffron in the frosting, an absolutely mouthwatering combination. I question the heavy hand of buttercream lilies used in your approach to decorating your cake - they were a tad plentiful and rather phallic in nature, perhaps? Though the judges seemed not to notice. Possibly because they were too busy noticing Alejandro’s hot pants. Your surprise use of live doves for the finale, however, that certainly got their attention- and the attention of health and safety. Please do not go about getting my picturesque village festival shut down by the government- again.

It was very poor sportsmanship on the part of your nearest competitor to ‘mistakenly’ appropriate your yuzu jelly from the fridge, but the way you vaulted over your prep bench, legs akimbo, and hurled that muffin at her head was most athletic. Excellent shot. I will point out that while you were entirely the injured party, proceeding to challenge old Mrs. Tiddlesby to blowtorches at dawn was a bit much. Not in the spirit of the quaint country baking competition, my dear. In any case, when was the last time you’ve awoken before 11:30? Blowtorches at noonish, more like.

What a shame your win is tainted by your permanent ban from any future competitions in the tri-county area. Bad luck, old friend.  Do let me know when next you will be in town, I’d love to meet up for tea.  All my love to you, and to Alejandro of course.

Best Regards,

Beatrice